Help #CrushtheStigma and Support Military Mental Health

If you follow me on Facebook, which many of you do, you've seen me talking about the fact that May  is Military Appreciation Month.  Throughout the month there are different days, events, and activities geared toward showing respect and gratitude to our men and women who serve (and have served) and their families, culminating with Memorial Day next Monday.

This week is Military Mental Health Advocacy Week.  The Military Spouses of Strength (MSOS) and Military Mental Health Project (MMHP), in collaboration with some amazing people like my friend, psychologist, and National Guard Spouse of the Year Dr. Ingrid Herrera-Yee, are working hard this week to spread the message about the mental health issues facing our military and veterans, and to garner support for efforts to address those issues while crushing the stigma that prevents so many people from seeking the help that they need.

The importance of this work cannot be overstated. Every day, 22 veterans in this country take their own lives. The Department of Defense does not currently have statistics on military spouses or children, but research by CNN on the issue is simply staggering. And that is saying nothing of the huge need among our men and women currently serving.

We understand the importance of addressing the wounds of our combat injured--and they are many.  It is easy to forget, though, that sometimes the piece of themselves our service members leave behind is not a limb, but a piece of their psyche, their personhood. Like all other wounds of war, healing can happen, but it takes time and professional help. The kind of help many do not have access to, and more are afraid to use because of the stigma associated with mental illness.

That's where we can help. Crushing the stigma starts with us. We need to educate ourselves on what invisible wounds are, and how they actually affect people. We need to send a clear message that we want to see our war wounded cared for, whether we can see their wounds or not. And we need to say to our warriors with invisible wounds: "these are battle scars, like all other injuries you sustained while protecting me and everything I hold dear. They do not diminish who you are, they merely require treatment." 

All this week the MSOS and MMHP are on the Hill talking to our elected officials about the importance of addressing military mental health issues. You can follow the MSOS and MMHP Facebook pages for updates.

Please join me in supporting them, by:

• Take the MSOS pledge to urge the Department of Defense to increase its mental health initiatives HERE.

• Signing MMPH's Change.org petition HERE, by sharing it with your friends, and 

• Tweeting at #CrushtheStigma. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The dust has now settled on all of the "Military Spouse of the Year" voting and aftermath, and now we're all just waiting until May 8 to see who will be the ultimate winner.  

Of course, each of the six branch winners has really already won. We represent our branch and its families, which is a tremendous honor. For me, representing the Army, that means about three quarters of a million families! It's a huge honor and a huge responsibility. I know that my fellow branch winners feel the same way, and we are all hard at work in our respective spheres while we wait to hear which of us will win even more.

If you are reading this it means you didn't unfriend me amid the mayhem of voting, interviews, memes, and the like. So thank you for that! 

But there were many, many who went above and beyond for me during this whole process, and I want to take a moment to give those folks a shout-out. As I was putting this post together, I realized that every aspect of my life is represented in the people that were pulling for me: my branch, my profession, my city, my faith, my hometown, my friends and family. It was really, really amazing. And I tear up just a little thinking about it. 

Whew! Ok, so here goes:

Houston Gets Behind its Own: Houston really had me covered on the social media. Thank you so much to 002 Magazine and Miya Shay and Sonia Azad from Houston's ABC 13 for promoting my vote on Twitter! Thank you to my friends at the 20K Group and the League of Women Voters--Houston for supporting me over Twitter and Facebook. You guys are amazing!

So Does My Hometown: I'm from Odessa, Texas, which is a city that does pretty well at keeping up with its natives. The local ABC affiliate, KMID, did an interview about my Army Spouse of the Year award, and promoted the MSOY vote as part of the content. Thank you KMID! 

Also, a ton of friends and family from back home tapped their own networks to support me. Maybe it's true that "you can't go home," but I'm sure glad that home follows me on Facebook! :)

Leadership Houston Rocks the Vote: I love Leadership Houston, and I love how alumni come together to lift each other up! I actually lost count of how many friends from LH shared/tweeted/retweeted/otherwise pestered friends and family to vote for me. 

And trust me, the votes were amazing, but what has been even more amazing is the opportunity I've had to talk about military families issues with some of the most incredible leaders in this city! I'm hoping that dialogue is only the beginning.

So Does my Faith Family: I mentioned in a previous post that my church has really been behind me throughout my work for military families. This journey has been no exception. It has been truly touching to see how my faith family cares for my family, and for military families. But I have to tell you, I think we may all need a lesson in patience, because some of these folks are even more anxious for the final results than I am! 

And my Military Family:  Military Spouse JD Network has been a long-time source of support for me, and my MSJDN friends certainly came through on this one. Beginning with a beautiful blog post, followed by shares, tweets, more shares, and more tweets.  Jake's unit, Fort Riley, and the Army generally has been very supportive, not to mention the many friends that we have made across so many other duty stations. 

I can't tell you how much I would love to win this for all of them, the men and women working hard to blaze a trail and make the path easier for the spouses and families that are following behind us! Thank you all!

My People Are AWESOME: I think I need a better thesaurus because I am running out of synonyms for awesome. There were several people who have really gone above and beyond for me, and not just with the votes. Whether it's helping me spread my advocacy message, offering me support and encouragement as I work to make it through this deployment, or just blubbering with me so I won't be embarrassed that I'm blubbering alone, you've been there. 

For fear that I might miss someone, I'm not going to list you, but you know who you are. You lift me up, and you keep me sane. THANK YOU!

Army Spouse of the Year--Why Political Activism is my Platform

On February 20, I was driving from Houston to Austin for a series of Military Spouse JD Network events when my phone exploded in a cacophony of sounds like I'd never heard before. I have my phone set to make different sounds for texts, tweets, and emails, and all three noises were going off in rapid succession. 

I had to pull over to see what was going on. Then it hit me: it's noon. All the noise is probably about Army Spouse of the Year. The messages (nearly two hundred, at the end of the day) would either be lots of congratulations, or lots of messages to make me feel better about not being selected.

Turns out, it was the former. I was officially Army Spouse of the Year, and I was floored! I still am, really. It's a huge honor. To be selected from among my peers--themselves leaders--to represent my community in this way is truly incredible.

And now, I'm in the running for Military Spouse of the Year! Absolutely amazing!

My sweet friends at MSJDN, always optimistic, were planning for an Army Spouse of the Year win for me. Very soon after the announcement was made, a beautiful blog post and graphic (above) were up to congratulate me. Wow. Holy cow!  Of course, after the shock subsided, I had to get back on the road to Austin and focus my attention back on the events ahead of me. 

And I barely had time to finish those events before budget cuts were back in the news again. More work to do. It seems lately there is no shortage of work to do to educate our leaders in Washington about what military life is like, and what military families need.

One example of what this community can do when the Homefront Rises.
Graphic by Adrianna Domingos-Lupher

THAT is why I think political activism is so important, and why I want to focus on it during my time as Army Spouse of the Year. 

We in the military families community are facing new and growing difficulties, as our government tries to figure out how best to wind down what has been the longest period of wartime in U.S. history. The rhetoric is shifting away from servicemembers and their families, toward deficits and budgets. "We've spent too much! What can we cut?" they say.  And military personnel and their families are an easy target, made easier by the astonishingly low percentage of people in Washington with any connection to the military.

The problem, of course, is that you cannot divorce the statistics from the people underneath them, nor should you. But when the people making the decisions do not know anything about the people from whom they are taking, that makes the taking all the easier.

The unwinding of this country's longest war is being done by a leadership in Washington that is the least connected to the military it has ever been. That disconnect is a huge problem for military families.

Fortunately, military spouses are in the business of identifying problems, and offering solutions. For my part, I think that military spouses ARE the solution.

We serve right alongside our men and women in uniform. We live our lives "mission first," and we understand what it is to sacrifice to make our country stronger. America needs us among its leaders because we understand what service and sacrifice for this great nation really looks like.

And military families need us because we understand the unique challenges that military families face:

• Issues Created by Frequent Relocation
• Deployment Issues
• Education Issues
• Financial Difficulties
• Career Challenges
• Benefits Issues
• Family Law Issues
• Mental Health and Wellness Issues
• Tricare Issues

Just to name a few. Of many. We understand these issues because we've lived them. But most of our leaders do not, because they have not. They do not know or understand unless WE tell them and explain.

Washington needs us, military spouses! And the more the Homefront Rises, the more military voices there are among our leadership the better off our community will be!  

But political activism doesn't have to mean running for office, or even working for an elected official. What it does mean is being a well-equipped advocate. What does that look like?

• It means learning the basic tools to engage our leaders--whether it's the school board, city council, state government, or national government--on issues that we care about.  We are the best source of education available to our leaders.

• It means being involved in our communities at the local, state, or national level, so that when problems arises, we already know who we can call on for help. We move a lot, so this one might be the hardest; it's worth the effort.

• It means knowing how to find others working on the issues we care about; our voice grows through collaboration. And it means supporting one another through this work.

• It means educating ourselves and voting for (maybe even working for) candidates with a record of supporting military families (on both sides of the aisle). Especially if they are military spouses or veterans.

We military families, more than perhaps any other group, have our entire lives dictated to us by our government. Being the best resource we can be for our families means having a baseline understanding of how government makes decisions, and how we can be involved in the process. 

The wars are ending, so we're told. And we are staring down the barrel of austerity like many of our families have never experienced before. We, military spouses, are the greatest resource that our community has for navigating the choppy waters ahead of us. 

And we need to be prepared. So who's with me?

When A Lawyer Fell for an Enlisted Guy

Jake and his unit rescued this puppy in Iraq.

So, on the one hand, can you blame me? I mean, look at the guy! And he saves puppies! But in all seriousness, since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, I wanted to take a moment and tell the unlikely tale of when a lawyer fell in love with an enlisted guy.

If you can believe it, this one actually does start out "Once upon a time in a far away land..."

I was traveling in the Philippines, working on a case for my longest-running client, the island Province of Marinduque. Yes, a Province in the Philippines is my oldest client. I've been working with the Province for eight years (since I was a baby lawyer!) on a case involving environmental damage done by mining practices on the island.

By 2007, I'd been traveling to the Philippines for a while, and I had built quite a few friendships there. Manila's is a transient culture, like so many international cities are now. New people join your group of friends for the week/month/whatever amount of time they are in country, then part ways, sometimes keeping in touch on Facebook, sometimes not. And that's where the story really starts.

It was a warm spring evening, and I was with four girlfriends having dinner at an outdoor tapas bar. We were in the center of the Greenbelt area of Makati City, which is almost always packed with people, especially in the evenings. Like the rest of Greenbelt, Cafe Havana was also packed. So no one was surprised when two strangers came and sat at our table. They were two guys, just looking for a place to grab dinner, recently in country. They were both nice. They were vague on the details of their work, although I had them pegged for some kind of military. One was a big flirt trying to grab every girl's attention, the other was quieter and content to take in the spectacle. 

I didn't really talk to either of them that night. I was happy spending time with friends I didn't see often. But they joined our little group for the week they were in Manila, and a few nights later the quiet guy started talking to me (the other one continued to flirt with everyone, eventually causing all manner of drama in that circle of girlfriends; but that's another story). The quiet guy and I quickly learned that we shared southern roots, Christian faith, similar upbringings, and a love of travel. 

We met in the tropics, so we married in the tropics.

So a couple of days later when we parted ways, it wasn't goodbye as it usually is with transient friends. It was the beginning of our lives as pen pals, a tradition we keep to this day. We started writing each other right away, and with every passing message we learned we had more and more in common. When I met him I knew he was special, but he won my heart with his words. Not with elegant, well-constructed phrases; Jake will be the first to tell you that writing is not his strong suit. But I could see his spirit on the page--strong but humble, confident and loving, a sense of humor but with a keen sense of the feelings of the people around him.

It wasn't until later that Jake confirmed he was military, and I learned he was enlisted. And Special Forces. I confess, I was only familiar with Green Berets because of the John Wayne movie before I met Jake. And I'd never imagined myself falling for any kind of soldier, let alone a guy who was "boots on the ground," constantly in harm's way! Ironically, Jake often says if he'd known I was a lawyer from the start things might have turned out a lot differently. Guess we both had our notions about who we were/weren't meant for. 

In a lot of ways, we couldn't be more opposite: I'm polished and he's rough around the edges (to say the least); he loves to rough it in the great outdoors, and I'd rather be catching the sights in a big city; the idea of a desk job makes him cringe, and I don't mind hours in front of the computer.

Pre-deployment family photos.

It's a lot of difference. But it's a lot of surface-level difference. I think the most important thing I learned from falling in love with an enlisted guy is to look past all the "what if," and "that's not really," and "but I had something else in mind" to the essential. At the very center, he is the best person I know. And there's no passing that up; you grab onto it, and you figure out the rest.

The reason is simple: you marry a person; the rest is just details. 

Fast-forward seven years and we are happily married with a beautiful three-year-old boy. Jake is now a Warrant Officer, having traded jumping out of helicopters for flying them. Right now, he's flying them in Afghanistan and we are counting the days until he gets home. Although "home" is a relative term for us, being a geobatch family. Maybe I should say instead he will be "safe and able to see us on the weekends." Either way, we can't wait!

Years later Jake and I still write each other letters. Honest-to-goodness, handwritten, add-a-postage-stamp letters. Sometimes when I'm really missing him, I will read back through old letters and smile at where life has taken us. 

I can imagine our kids doing the same years from now, and that makes me smile even more. I hope that reading our messages helps them remember when they're looking for their own "someone" to spend their lives with, that the most important thing is to find a heart that matches theirs.

We accomplish Great Things with the Help of Great Supporters

TOMORROW, the vote for Army Spouse of the Year will take place, and I am one of the three lucky finalists that gets to compete for the honor. That's really tremendous. I hope I win, because I know the incredible platform that the honor would provide me!

But the thing that's even more tremendous to me is looking at how I got started down this path. Four amazing women wrote in to nominate me for this honor, and each of them represents a different aspect of my life. Their words made me smile (and cry), and feel so incredibly blessed in the people around me in this world. So I wanted to take a minute and tell you a little bit about each of these women.

Catrina Fobian has been my best friend for over a decade. We went through law school together (when it was actually she who was living as one half of a geobachelor military family), and we've seen each other through many an up and down. We live almost 2,000 miles apart, but it usually doesn't feel that way because we're always in touch. Even our sons are best friends! They're babies (four and almost four) who only see each other maybe three times a year, and yet they are as close as brothers. Catrina is a walking example of what the word "bootstrap" means in the best sense--coming from nothing and making something of it. This is what Catrina wrote:

I would like to nominate my best friend and the most amazing military spouse on the face of the planet for military spouse of the year, Reda Hicks. Reda and her family have endured being a remote family the entire length of her marriage to CWO Hicks. Since meeting Jake, she has thrown herself into championing military spouse rights. Not only is she a busy attorney in a successful law practice in Houston, she is a mother of an active three year old boy, civic leader in her community and one of the steering oars for the Military Spouse JD Network. As a member of MSJDN she has done so much to better the position of military spouses with JDs including helping to ensure that a DC Circuit judge's nomination to the court was in fact confirmed. She is a tireless, tenacious, and proud military spouse. Anyone who knows Reda knows that none more than her deserve such an honor. I hope that you will take the time to get to know her and find out why I believe she is the best candidate for Military Spouse of the Year.

Josie Beets is the Yin to my Yang on MSJDN's Communications Team, and an all-around amazing human being. The story she told about our being stationed together and not knowing it is no joke, and it's one of my biggest regrets as well. Josie is exactly what "heart" looks like. She's incredibly strong--managing two kids, a job, and tons of volunteer work while her husband is deployed--but has tremendous compassion for the people around her. Josie is the reason that MSJDN will have an incredible new Justice for Military Families program later this year--she's willing it into existence. Josie is also my Deployment Buddy. We're helping each other stay sane while our husband's are in Afghanistan. This is what Josie wrote (HINT: Josie made me cry):

By any independent measure, there is no better candidate for 2014 Military Spouse of the Year than Reda Hicks. Reda is an Army wife, a partner at a law firm, active in her community, and a woman of faith. But more than that, she is my friend and my deployment buddy, as our husband's deployed at the same time last summer. 

Reda and I are both Army wives and attorneys. It's a strange experience, trying to be a military family while being a working professional; it's especially difficult for attorneys, who have to be licensed to work in each state they live in. Reda and I first met through an organization founded with the purpose of making that tension easier, the Military Spouse JD Network. When we met a short year and a half ago, we realized we'd both been at Fort Polk at the same time, and both with new babies. It is one of my most sincere regrets that we had not connected at this time, because I really could have used a friend! 

Since then Reda and I have made up for lost time, and I have have watched her become a fierce and passionate advocate for military families. Reda feels military stressors differently than most of us. She and her husband made the decision to live apart so that Reda could maintain her legal career. This difficult choice motivates her to help other military families so that they do not have to make the same difficult decisions and can be a military family and pursue the legal profession.  

More than the national-level advocacy she's done for military families, supporting other milspouse attorneys, publishing op-eds in her local paper, or organizing professional development events for her military spouse peers, what Reda has been for me is an always-on shoulder to cry on and partner in crime to laugh with. Day or night, Reda is the first person I reach out to when I am having trouble remembering why exactly we subject ourselves to this crazy military life. I don't know if it's her legal training or her experience as a mom of a precocious three (almost four!) year old, but she has the ability to calm me down when I'm angry and rile me up when I should be.  

And whether it's serving as a Board Member and Publications Editor of MSJDN or as a leader in her local church, volunteering at the food pantry or chairing a high-stakes legal meeting at her law firm, sitting down with political dignitaries or sharing Tex-Mex at her favorite family restaurant, Reda approaches all of her interactions with grace and grounded personality many of us strive for.  

The Military Spouse of the Year should be someone that shows us that through the most difficult of our circumstances, military spouses can succeed and support each other in the process. Reda Hicks exemplifies these qualities, and so many more, and should be our next Military Spouse of the Year.

Natalie Wilson: Natalie is another example of a strong woman making this military life work. She is a full-time associate at a firm in San Antonio with two small kids, and her military commitments.  And in her "spare" time, she writes for me and works on MSJDN's Texas initiatives with me. Natalie and I have never met in person; like many MSJDNers, we know each other through the internet. We'll finally meet for the first time at an event later this month, which is really exciting! She's such a collaborative, hard-working spirit and it's really a joy to have her on my teams. This is what Natalie wrote:

Reda Hicks worked tirelessly this year to support military and military spouses. She was instrumental in gathering support among military spouses and Senators for Patricia Millett's nomination to the DC Circuit Court of appeals, a historic appointment that was confirmed in December 2013. She has also been at the forefront of the #KeepYourPromise campaign to educate military, the public, and elected officials about the COLA pension cuts in the Balanced Budget Act and pushing for the cuts to be reversed. She has done this all while working full-time as a litigation partner in a Houston-based law firm, solo parenting a 3 year old child, with a husband who is deployed to Afghanistan. Reda represents the absolute best of what military spouses can accomplish when they put their minds to it. Reda inspires me every day to do better and be better.

Lindsay Taylor Munoz: Lindsay is my newest friend of the bunch, but we go together like PB&J. We are both feelers and advocates, which makes for a lot of passion and a lot of tears. And we both share a heart-felt belief in political activism as a way to make our communities better. Lindsay is not connected to military life in any way that I'm aware of (except through me; she's in the Leadership Houston class I'm mentoring), but when she learned about the work that I do she quickly became one of my biggest cheerleaders and co-conspirators. Lindsey gives me a lot of hope about how the civilian community can embrace military families, if only they know what we need and how to help. Here is what Lindsay wrote:

The strength & passion Reda shows when advocating on behalf of military families is infectious. You see it in HER eyes, you hear it in HER voice, and you feel it in YOUR heart. Reda spends more hours during the week tirelessly supporting military families than most people spend at their day jobs in the same time span. She sets herself apart from others by speaking beyond social media and online forums to take her message of military families and the inequities they face to the policy makers in Washington. And when partisan theater puts a barrier in front of her, in true military spouse fashion, she finds a way to break through it. Reda deserves this. She has earned it. 

Reading these words from such amazing ladies makes me feel like I've already won. But it also inspires me to want to do more, to really live up to these words. To me, that's what a platform like Army Spouse of the Year is all about--pushing the limits to improve our community. 

But title or no, the truth is that you only accomplish great things with the support of the people around you. 

So thanks very much to all of you who have lifted me up. I hope I make you proud!!

What it Means to Be a Spouse of the Year

“Are you Reda Hicks?” 

“Yes ma’am, that’s me.” 

“Oh good I thought so. I voted for you! Congratulations!”

So went an interchange with an elderly woman at my church on Sunday, one of many who voted for me and helped me earn the title “Ft. Riley Spouse of the Year.”  I received a number of congratulations, but I received even more questions. Some people hadn't heard of the program before. They wanted to know what it did, where it came from, and what it means that I’m a Spouse of the Year.

Some folks were under the misapprehension that the “Military Spouse of the Year” program was something like a pageant. One person asked me “Do you have to do talent and swimsuit competitions next?”

Thankfully not. Still, these interchanges over the course of the day left me feeling like I needed to articulate an answer to the question: ‘What does it mean to be a Spouse of the Year?'

When I think about Spouses of the Year, a collection of words come to mind:

Platform.  

Voice.  

Leadership. 

Change.

Platform and Voice: One benefit of being a Spouse of the Year winner is the opportunity to speak out and engage on issues each of us are passionate about; issues that affect many military families every day. That kind of opportunity to really be heard is what “platform” means to me. It’s the way we use the word in politics too: a person’s platform is not just a statement of the things about which they care, but the vehicle by which they get the word out, and gain support in addressing those issues.

Of course, a responsibility goes hand in hand with that opportunity. Spouses of the Year are the voices for the bases they represent, the branches they represent, or the entire military families community in the case of the Military Spouse of the Year.  That means Spouses of the Year have to be in tune with their communities. They have to have a vision for meeting needs in the military family community.  And they have to be a worthy representative.  It’s an incredible responsibility, coupled with an amazing opportunity.

Leadership and Change. Each Spouse of the Year is a leader in his or her community; they would not be chosen otherwise.  But being named as a Spouse of the Year provides not just the opportunity to lead in our own communities, but the opportunity to work together as a community of Spouses of the Year.  The program brings together leaders that may not otherwise know each other, each of whom are committed to making their own communities better, and gives them the opportunity to collaborate, share ideas, and help each other. Many issues facing military families are universal—they exist regardless of geography, sometimes regardless of branch. As military we all know that there is strength in numbers. The Military Spouse of the Year program pools leaders from across the country so they can help each other really make an impact at their respective installations, or in their respective branches.

And of course, when you have leaders being given opportunities to be a voice for their community, who are working together to make a difference, that is when real change can be made.  Whether at the base level, branch level, or nationwide, these concentrated efforts to support military families and address issues they face have a positive impact.  Here are just a few examples:

• Alicia Hines Ward (Military Spouse of the Year, 2013) worked to develop a food support network in the D.C. Area, and earned numerous grants to help address the food needs of military families, many of whom live at or below the poverty level. 

• Jeremy Hilton (Military Spouse of the Year, 2012) used his platform to raise awareness about the significant issues faced by military families who have children with special needs. He worked (and continues to work) to make changes to Tricare that would bring the system more in line with the needs of all military children. 

• Bianca Strzalkowski (Military Spouse of the Year, 2011) worked to address the significant hurdles military spouses face in building careers, and the impact of those barriers on military families.  She developed a Military Spouse Education Program, designed to encourage military spouses to seek degrees, and provide assistance to them in the education process. 

• Alisha Youch (Navy Spouse of the Year 2013) worked with Senator Kelly Ayotte to develop a Deployment Cycle Support Program for New Hampshire active duty and National Guard families. 

• Verenice Castillo (Air Force Spouse of the Year, 2013) did significant work on the Air Force’s Key Spouse Program, which oversees family readiness at the squadron, group wing, and Air Force level. She developed new policies and guidelines, and established a Key Spouse Network. 

• Shelley Kimball (Coast Guard Spouse of the Year, 2013) worked on the Blue Star Families Military Lifestyle Survey, which was designed to provide leadership with empirical data about military families and what their lives are like.

• Karen Guenther (Marine Corps Spouse of the Year 2013) used the opportunity to raise the profile of the Injured Marines Semper Fi Fund to help address the needs of wounded warriors and their families.

• Tara Crooks (Army Spouse of the Year 2013) worked on developing a network, the Army Wife Network, to help improve daily life for military families around the country. 

Being a voice for my community, working with other amazing leaders to make change—these are the reasons I am honored to have been named Ft. Riley Spouse of the Year, and why I hope I have the opportunity to become Army Spouse of the Year. 

As an advocate, I know how powerful a voice can be, and how devastating a lack of voice can be.  So many of the difficulties facing military families right now are due to the fact that our leadership is no longer in tune with our voice. That’s why so much of my work is focused on raising awareness with our leaders of the issues facing military families, and helping others do so as well. And I want to help multiply our voice around this great nation by empowering the amazing men and women already serving it as military spouses, and helping them join the ranks of our leadership.

To me, being a Spouse of the Year means using the platform given to me and being a voice for military families. It means being a leader, and working together with other leaders to make change that improves the lives of military families.  That’s how I will be spending my 2014!

Reda Hicks--2014 Military Spouse of the Year

**UPDATE: On February 23, 2014, the announcement was made that I am the Ft. Riley Military Spouse of the Year. 

***On January 30, 2014, the Top 18 candidates were announced, and I was among them. Now, I have the honor of competing for Army Spouse of the Year. Please vote for me on Tuesday, February 4, by clicking here.

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Military Spouse of the Year--that's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Friends, I would like to be the next Military Spouse of the Year (MSOY). Will you help me?

I was incredibly honored to learn last week that five friends nominated me for the honor.  Floored, really, and you will be too when you read what they wrote.  In one sense, it was very humbling. I am familiar with a number of past MSOY winners, and they are some amazing men and women!  Definitely big shoes to fill.

But on the other hand, the nominations were also empowering. I love love being an advocate for military families.  The idea of getting to bring that message to a larger audience, to really bring attention to issues facing military families, makes my heart fly.

What is it? Here’s what the website says about MSOY:

Military Spouse magazine founded the Military Spouse of the Year® (MSOY) award in 2008 to honor military spouses of all ranks and from all branches of service. More than a million military spouses support and maintain the home front while our service members defend this great nation. The Military Spouse of the Year® award recognizes military spouses’ important contributions and unwavering commitment to the military community and our country. 

For the program, it’s a way to identify and encourage leaders within the military spouse community.  MSOY winners working together are a powerful force for military families.

For the winners, it is an opportunity to reach a broad audience on particular issues that affect military families. It’s a way to educate, raise awareness, and make positive change. In a word, it’s a platform.

What can my friends do to help?

Voting for MSOY happens in three rounds: (1) base-level voting; (2) branch-level voting; and (3) final voting.  A participant has to win at each level to advance, so my first task is becoming the Ft. Riley Military Spouse of the Year.

The first round base-level vote is TUESDAY! Yes, January 21, 2014. 

Here’s the link to cast your vote: http://bit.ly/1eNjjCa

Here's the link to read my profile:
http://msoy.militaryspouse.com/vote/#view/19583/1798964

The link asks for your email address, but that is only so they can track whether you have voted before.

Anyone can vote, so getting the word out is critically important. 

Tell your friends, tell your networks, tell your families, and ask them to VOTE pass it on!  Here are a few easy ways to do that:

• Facebook—I started a Facebook event that will be updated throughout the voting process with instructions, posts for sharing, and additional information.  You can find the link here.

• Twitter—My Twitter-savvy friends can follow the process by using the hashtags #TeamReda and #MSOY. Here’s the bitly for the voting link: http://bit.ly/19Fh8mH if you want to tweet your friends.

• Blog—Subscribe to my blog. I’ll be posting updates during the course of this process, so you know exactly what to do when.

Why do I want to do this?

I’m an advocate to the core.  I love being a voice for the military families community. Whether it’s grassroots phone/email/Twitter campaigns, editorial work, organized advocacy efforts, or storming Capitol Hill I carry the message. 

The political process can be daunting, and we need more military spouses who understand and engage with it.  That’s why I’m proud to be part of a team working to train military spouses to join the conversation, not just calling on their leaders for change, but becoming the leaders who will make change.  

This is important to me not just because it would mean more leaders in tune with the needs of the military community, but also because it would mean leaders who truly understand what serving and sacrificing for this great nation looks like.  It’s part of their lives.

I believe in the power of empowering military spouses.  I don’t just mean spouses that are ready advocates and political leaders, but also spouses empowered in their own homes and communities by their ability to build a career if that is their calling.

Gone blonde for Jake's 40th birthday,
two weeks before he left for Afghanistan

My family is a remote family, and that’s mostly because military service is often incompatible with spouse careers.  Jake has served in four different states in seven years, and I can’t even get licensed fast enough to follow, let alone get a job.  These kinds of hurdles are why a large and growing number of military families live remotely.

I’m proud to work with Military Spouse JD Network on removing those licensing barriers.  I hope that one day no military family will have to live the way mine does to be a two-career household and also serve.

At one of our events in May, General William Suter (Ret.) said “When you help a military spouse you help a military family, and don’t you forget it!” I believe that to my very core. 

I believe the gap can be bridged.  Our family has one foot in the Army and one foot in the civilian world every single day.  Being remote is hard, but one blessing it has provided is the opportunity to address a civilian community (Houston) with the message of what military life is really like.

My experience has been, the more they know, the more people are willing to help.  The problem is that the military are small in numbers (less than 1%) in terms of overall population in this country, and not near major metropolitan areas.  That means civilians don’t necessarily come into contact with us.  But when they are aware, they care.  So we know what our homework is!  I address my civilian community with our message every chance I get.